Saturday, March 12, 2011

Adventures at the NYS DMV - Part II

First, let me appologize for taking so long to post the second half of my story. There are many reasons that I won't go into detail about, but trust that I did not forget about you lovely followers and there were valid situations keeping me away from my poor neglected blog.

For those of you just tuning in, please read PART I first, otherwise, this part just isn't nearly as interesting. 
Now, on to the side story....

(As a reminder, when we last left Lady Hill she was anxiously awaiting to find out if she passed the NYS Learner's Permit exam.)

Okay, so, I forgot to mention in Part I of the story that somewhere along the line my mom sat next to a very pregnant foreign girl and began to chat with her. Those of you who have been reading long enough, or who know me in real life, know that pregnancy is a topic I try to avoid at all costs. I went so far as putting my coat and bag between myself and the pregnant woman that we will call Ruth (that might be her real name, I never did catch it but I'm pretty sure that's what they called her at the desk) because I have an irrational fear that pregnancy is somehow contagious through osmosis. SO, imagine my ... hmmm... not surprise, not disapointment, just imagine how uncomfortable I was to realize that Ruth and I were only one number apart, and would end up spending the entire day at the DMV together.

When we were called in to take the test, the only two open seats were next to eachother. When we were done with the tests, the only room to wait was a tiny space that required us to be touching while we stood there. (Another important thing to remember is that I HATE being touched, especially by strangers.) After standing for a few minutes we started chatting, and it turns out she is a really nice woman, just moved here, grew up all over Europe and when she realizes I know German, she began speaking so fast in a dialect I couldnt understand that we wound up getting scolded for laughing so loud. She became my "DMV Buddy"
Ruth it turns out, is 8 months pregnant. No one was willing to give up a seat for her on the benches, because well, this is New York after all, so I told her I'd sit on the floor if she did. Now, picture the amount of space that had to be available, or rather the lack there of, if when standing we were touching. When we sat, she was basically on my lap.
I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she looked, because, well she kept making very strange faces and making little sighs here and there. Turns out, that Ruth had been having contractions for the past two hours and they were getting stronger by the minute. She assured me that she wasn't planning on having the baby at the DMV and I said "Well, I should hope not! And, if you do need to have the baby here, please, don't do it on my lap." I said it with a laugh in my voice so she didn't think I was a huge bitch, but at this point I am DESPERATE to escape the DMV. I'm almost hoping I failed the test because if I did, then at least I could just leave. I wouldn't have to spend even more time hanging out with my new buddy and risk her having her baby on my lap.
THEN! Oh my... then the baby starts trying to escape, but not through the "escape hatch" oh no, the baby seems to be trying to rip it's way through Ruth's tummy. He too, it appears has had enough of the DMV and just can't seem to take it anymore. It was like a scene from an alien movie, even Ruth started laughing and pointing at her belly and saying "aw, look at my little alien baby, he's trying to escape" This is not Ruth's belly, but this is exactly what it looked like except it wasn't a foot it was a hand...
I didn't realize those types of photos were real. I have never touched a pregnant woman's belly to feel a baby kick, I had no idea, this was possible. I was FREAKED out. Then, the baby starts rolling and it looks like the Loch Ness Monster is in there... crazy stuff... The whole time she's talking about contractions. Now, I don't know if you can have contractions while the baby is moving around like that, or what not. I don't claim to be knowledgable on these things, I'm just reporting what she said was going on and what I saw. So, it gets to the point where I actually said... "Okay, listen up little baby. You cannot be born at the DMV, especially not on MY lap. Because, if your mommy does give birth to you on my lap, she will have to be my very own personal driver for the rest of my life and yours, because I will NEVER step foot in a DMV again, and I will never get my license." Again, I said it with a laugh in my voice but also sternly enough so that the alien baby knew I meant business. Ruth laughed, and said that we had a deal, if she had the baby while anywhere near me, she would drive me around forever.

Just then they called out both of our names to get our test results....
We both passed!!

Luckily, there were no seats near eachother back in the main part of the DMV so we didn't have to sit near eachother and that is where my story with Ruth and the alien baby ends. I spent another 75 minutes waiting for them to call my number to pay at the cashier, but FINALLY after over 6 hours at the NYSDMV I now have a class D id and can drive! (As long as there is a licensed driver over the age of 21 in the car with me lol)
I am VERY excited and very proud of myself. I fought several fears of mine to complete this task and hopefully, I will have a driver's license before this permit expires b/c I really don't think I can risk going through all of that all over again!!


  1. Congrats on passing your test!!! As for the alien baby...well I'm glad he didn't show up on your lap.

  2. wow what a tale. congrats on getting your driving permit. wow. i had no idea you hated being touched by strangers and feared the pregnancy bug! great post!

  3. The picture you posted scares the crap out of me lol


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