Blessed

It's so easy to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. To sit and say "oh my, I'm so tired, work is kicking my butt, I have no time for my friends, I have no time to cook, I have no time to go see my mom. Wah, whoa is me"

I would like to take a minute and say that I am truly blessed.
2010 was a really hard year for me. My mom's cancer, losing my job, losing Tango, family drama, dealing with fibromyalgia... you name it, it sucked.
I really let it get to me. I got to the point where I just couldn't take any more, had a major panic attack and almost ended up back in the hospital because of it.

2011 is going to be different. My mom still has cancer, I still miss Tango, and I'm still bitter about what happened at my last job. The difference will be with me, and how I respond and react to my life. 2011 is going to be about positive attitudes.

Thank God, I have a job.
Thank God, I have friends. Great friends. This might be the first time in my life when I can actually say that and mean it.
Thank God, I have food in my fridge and do not need to go hungry.
Thank God, my mom is still here. I am so grateful for every minute that God gives me with her.
Thank God, I have family that loves me. Drama or not, I never have to question whether I am loved.
Thank God for my daddy. He is my rock. 
Thank God for giving me the years I had with Tango. For letting me help him know what it felt like to be loved. For giving me a little ball of unconditional love in return. For teaching me patience. For bringing me to a point in my life where I would get Jasmine.
Thank God for Jasmine. Without her, I may never have gotten out of my funk last year. She has given me a reason to get out of bed every morning.
Thank God for Petey and Bella and McDuff. My children.  Fur, or feathers, paws, or claws, my loves.
Thank God, for Disney World. For at least 8 days a year I get to just be. I get to live in my fantasy land, and be the Princess I know I am, see the world, and be a kid again.

Thank God for my amazing husband, who can always make me laugh, and makes me feel like a princess every single day.

What are you thankful for? Do you think your attitude can impact your future?

Think-About Thursday 09-09-10

Life is short. That's what I have learned this past month. It has not been an easy few weeks.
On Tuesday, Lord Hill, Jazzy and I were involved in a car accident. We were rear ended while stopped at a red light. Everyone is fine, I'm extremely sore, but okay. The car on the other hand is not. We won't have it for a while. Hopefully they can fix it and it's not totaled.

I was angry at first. Depressed. Very "Why do these things keep happening to me?!"
Then I realized that if the airbags had gone off, Jazzy would have been killed. If we hit the car in front of us, we could have been seriously injured. There were so many things that could have happened to make the situation so much worse and didn't that I have to stop and think... "Wow. Thank God. Someone somewhere is looking out for us."

It's easy to focus on all the negative things going on. It's sad that it takes an event like this to make me feel lucky and blessed but that's what happened. I hug my hubby a little tighter now, I play with the puppy a little more and don't get as upset when she misses the weewee pad.

Enjoy the little things. try not to focus on the scary stuff that you can't change or control.

Think-About Thursday 08-19-10

I know I haven't been around much and for that I appologize. I thank you all for sticking around and for all the words of encouragement lately.

I had 2 job interviews next week and a potential part time free lance gig in the works... hopefully something happens soon b/c I'm starting to panic with only 3 or 5 paid work days left before I am out of a job.

Most of you know my mother has been fighting cancer the past few months. Please continue to keep her in your prayers.

I'm feeling a little overwhelmed, okay a LOT overwhelmed right now and I will try to keep up with my blog as best as I can. This blog has become so important to me and I have no intentions of taking a full break from blogging or anything like that, I just can't promise daily funny posts right now. I hope you'll stay and come on this leg of the journey with me.

Think-About Thursday 08-12-10

"Everything is (going to be) okay."

How often do you hear these words?

How often do you say them?

How often do you believe them?

As someone with severe anxiety I say this phrase to myself several times a day without even realizing it.  I start almost every morning getting out of bed with a quick pulse, a slight feeling of doom, and the words "everything is okay" mumbling out of my mouth. (yes, I said slight feeling of doom, b/c DOOM has various degrees in my world.)

My husband will say "everything is fine" or "you're fine, everything is okay, stop worrying" at least a few times a week. He really is so incredibly patient with my psychosis. 

While I always "know" that the statement is true, I don't always believe it. Whether it'd mid panic attack, or the first few times I said, or someone said them to me last week after I lost my job... I know it's right, b/c let's face it, everything HAS to be okay, and so it will be. My friend Sara reminded me of that very thing today. She didn't try to sugar coat anything. She said, " calm down, have some tea, everything will be okay, it has to be, so it will be"

That immediately set me at ease. I don't know why, but for the first time in ages I actually believed it when I heard/read it. I took that moment to say, "You're right. Everything IS okay, I WILL be fine."

I marched into my interview today, head held high, palms sweaty, but I did not stutter, I did not hesitate and I had no fear. No matter what the outcome, it didn't matter, everything would be okay.

It was almost like a lucid dream. I couldn't control how others around me acted, but I could control myself and my actions and for a few minutes anyway, my emotions.

It felt good. 

So, for those of you who are out there and are struggling, or in fear, let me tell you that I believe this with my heart and soul, WE will okay. Everything WILL be okay. Life is good. It's not boring, it's complicated, it's hard, and a struggle, but we don't have to be afraid. 

I'm sure this feeling will be short lived, but that's okay too. That's why I'm writing about it, so that I can come back and read this and remember what it felt like to be anxiety free for a few hours. 

When was the last time you said "Everything will be okay."? 

Did you mean it?

Think-About Thursday 08-05-10

I've been thinking all day about what I should write about. I've been thinking about a lot the past few days and I have a lot running through my mind. I don't want to be a total downer but I don't want to pretend to be all rainbows and bunnies... I don't want to be fake with you, my readers, my online (and some real life) friends.

Every day we blog we let total strangers into our world. Every day we check our favorite blogs and we peer into other people's lives. We get to live in their world for a little bit.

People who don't blog, don't always understand. Some people who are not big into the social aspect of the internet think it's all creepy and weird and pathetic. They stick the people they know in the real world, they talk to their "friends" some of whom they haven't spoken to since highschool even after adding them to their friends list and ignore the rest of the world wide web.

Not me. I embrace all aspects of online social networking. Without it, I don't know how I would have survived the past 10 years of my life. I'm not saying I would have died or anything dramatic, I just... can't fathom a world without my online friends.

I have a friend named Chris that I have known longer than almost any of my "real" friends. We have never met, but I know that I could call them, email them, talk to them about anything at any time rain or shine good or bad even though we live on opposite sides of the continent. One day we're going to take over Canada and it's going to be wonderful. In a sense we've grown up together. If one day the internet would just disapear and I lost my friend forever, it would hurt just as much as losing a friend that lives up the block.

The best thing about the internet is how small it makes the world seem. No matter what is wrong, no matter what I need help with, there is someone a few keystrokes away that is there to offer help, advice, and most importantly support.

I have met an amazing group of women who have become dear friends. If you had asked me 4 years ago if I'd have a group of girlfriends to hang out with, go to supper club, have a book club, I would have laughed in your face. No way. Not me. Well, I would have been wrong.

2 months ago if you had asked me if I'd be able to keep 7 goldfish alive no matter what answer I gave, I would have been wrong. What I thought I knew about goldfish was completely wrong, but b/c of the internet The Fred's are thriving.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't completely freaking out about losing my job. BUT b/c of the internet, b/c of some of YOU frugal coupon cutting, recipe sharing, money saving bloggers, b/c of you who share your lives, your hardships, your failures and your strength, I know I will be okay. Everything will be okay.

Thank you for that. Thank you for letting me vent, for supporting a stranger, for making me laugh and making me cry and for letting me be a part of your world. I hope you enjoy being a part of mine as much as I do, being a part of yours.


What is your favorite thing about the internet?

Think-About Thursday 07-29-10

Well, after lots of thinking, and comments, and suggestions and help from my loyal readers I have started taking steps to make this blog more of what I wanted it to be but was too afraid to attempt.

First...there's the new layout. What do you think? It still needs some tweaking, but I think it looks pretty good. Do you love it or hate it? Let me know, your opinion matters since you're the ones who have to look at it while reading.

I was talking to a friend about the blog and how I've lined up some reviews and giveaways and they said that I "Sold Out". Now, if you know me at all you know that's one of my biggest fears in life. I'm an artist, a writer, a creator it's in my soul... to sell out would be a tragedy.

The thing is, I'm not looking to sell out. I'm not looking to be famous or popular although FAME! ah, it would be nice...
I'm looking to help myself while helping others. That's the basic theme of this blog.
You get to watch me go from being a lazy slob who doesn't wear makeup and wears jeans and sandals every where she goes to being an elegant lady like creature with a clean home, happy family, and happy pets.

Maybe one of my recipes, or cleaning tips, or something helps you, inspires you, makes your day easier. That's what this is about. So, if I find a product that I can stand behind or that I think will help me achieve these goals, I see no problem with reviewing it publicly since maybe it will help you too. If I can get one to give to one of my readers, that's even better!

So let me ask you, my readers, does it upset you or make you afraid that my blog will become less valid, less true, and not as real and down to earth if I start doing reviews and giveaways?

I will always be true to me. No matter what. My motto is actually "to thine own self be true" I write it everywhere and one day hope to have a nice tattoo down my ribs. I will not promote a product or service that I don't stand behind.

You have my word. I'm a lifetime member of the Girl Scouts, so you can trust me.

Think-About Thursday 07-22-10

I have been thinking about a LOT lately. In fact I've been feeling slightly overwhelmed.
I took the plunge and contacted a company about doing a review for them, more info on that tomorrow though. I'd really like to get more involved with giveaways, not b/c I want free stuff for me (though admitedly that's always fun) but because I'd like to get my readers things I think they could use.
For example, I'm not doing a giveaway, but I am reviewing a book that I contacted a publisher about b/c I feel that it really fits the tone of my blog and anyone reading it might be really interested in the book. I want to get that info out there with more info than just a link and a "maybe this would be cool" type of approach.

If I try a cleaning or cooking product I'd like to be able to offer at least one of my readers the same chance...

I just don't really know how to get involved. I'm not sure I have enough followers, or fans, or "likes" or whatever it's called.

I don't know how to get people to follow my blog on the networked blog thing. I feel like it looks ridiculous with just me on there. I should take it down, but if I take it down then no one can add themselves to it.

I don't know how to pitch myself to a company. Or how to promote myself in general. I need a giveaway/review blogger to take me under their wing.

In the meantime I did manage to finally make the button I've been whining about for weeks. It's simple but after cropping my header so many times for blog hops I realized it was exactly what I was looking for. I even learned how to add the "grab" box under it to my side bar...so, go ahead, grab it!

Aside from my blogging thoughts, I am also working on a fabulous Zombie related website. My dear friend Sara and I are going to help the world prepare for, defend during, and rebuild after the zombie pandemic. It will be epic. I hope.

I also started the local chapter of the Zombie Research Society (also with Sara) and I'm trying to get that off the ground.

While being a forum admin for ZombieSafeHouse.net

I have a lot on my plate. I NEED projects otherwise I get bored rather easily. This time though, I wonder if maybe I have too many projects. Then I realize, no, it's not that, it's that very few people understand why I'm doing any of these projects in the first place. The lack of support is what's making my situation feel so overwhelming.
Perhaps you, my dear readers, can help with the first portion. Give me your tips, your guides, your words of wisdom. Take me under your wing. If you're a new blogger, maybe we can huddle together. Let's support eachother. Help eachother.

If you're in to zombies, let me know. I could use some help on that front as well.


What do you have on YOUR 'plate' right now? How do you cope when you start to feel overwhelmed?

Think-About Thursday 07-08-10 + a late Workout Wednesday!

So, yesterday I had a fabulous workout. I spent the first 1/3 of my day at the camp I'm working at this week. There was lots of moving boxes and equipment, and a lot of running with the kids during one of the games we play.
Then I spent the next part of my day in my sauna of an apartment and sweated off like 8 million pounds.
The last part of the day (that I was awake for) consisted of swimming in my parents' pool while playing with my niece and nephew. AWESOME workout and TONS of fun. good times.

My niece is going to be 16 next month. 16!
This is not allowed to happen. I don't understand where the past 11 years went. It seems like just yesterday she was at MY sweet 16. She was so little and adorable and snuggly.
Now, she's a teenager! Who wears bikini tops, and has a facebook profile.
It's all too much to handle.
All of "my" babies are growing up so fast! She's going to be 16, my god daughter is going into middle school in September, my nephew, who due to bad timing everyone in highschool thought was mine (that's a blog post of it's own lol) is 9, my youngest niece just celebrated her fourth birthday and her first dance recital...the baby of the family is already going to be 1!
Lord Hill's niece is almost as tall as me...

Where does the time go?!? I'm getting all teary eyed just thinking about it.

Think-About Thursday 07-01-10

I think it's neat that my shirt matches my walls...

I think clouds are really pretty and when I'm stressed I love to lay on my back and watch them go by. I also love to take photos of them when I go someplace special...
The first is from fshing yesterday and the rest are from a plane window on our way to Disney last September.

I think sometime's it's good to think about simple things that make you happy instead of deep things that don't.

What are YOU thinking about today?

Think About Thursday Part II

Thank you so much to all of you who offered prayers, support, and good vibes today.

It paid off. I got a clean bill of health! Well, as far as the skin cancer is concerned. The doc said I need to get checked every 6 months bc I have a lot of atypical moles and fair skin, and a bad family history. She said she was surprised at how good I seemed to be especially with the sunburn I showed up with.

My mother, father, and Lord Hill did not get away so easy. They all have to be seen for further evuation/testing on spots of their own. I'm so glad my dad and Lord Hill got checked. My mom just did it for "fun" since she gets checked every few months anyway. The doc who checked us works at the hospital my mom's cancer is/was being treated at.

Do a self exam monthly. If you can, have a friend or family member check the spots you can't see. Take digital phots of any marks you hav e so that you can moniter them and notice any changes. Marks larger than a pencil eraser should be seen by a doctor.

For more info visit CCMAC.org

Think About Thursday Part I

It's 12:31 AM and I'm sitting in bed thinking. Worrying. The hubby and the dog are outside and the cats are too busy trying to beat the heat, to bother with me tonight.

So I'm posting in the dark, in my bed, from my phone.

Tomorrow (today technically) I am going for a skin cancer screening. I haven't had one in about a decade and with my personal history, combined with my family history, that is not a good thing.

Please send good vibes my way. All I can think about is the pain and fear that my mom has been dealing with since being diagnosed with melonoma again a few months back. She just finished her radiation treatments this month. I'm scared. I'm trying not to be, I'm trying not to worry about something that I have no control over. I'm trying to hand it all over to God.

*sigh* It's now 1:35 AM
Gnite.

Think-About Thursday

I've been excited and thinking about different things this week and I thought it might be nice to make a theme out of it. Help me keep on track with my blogging and what not... so without further ado I bring you the very first "Lady Hill's Think-About Thursday!

1. My nails are FABULOUS today. I thought of Ally over at FourthGradeNothing.com today while painting them since the colors are quite 80's/90's retro chic.
   
   
   
2. I won my first giveaway! I entered a giveaway last month on Manda Blogs About for a 16x20 rolled canvas print and I got the email this morning that I won!! Woo hooo!! I'm not sure which photo to have printed yet though. I originally planned on a wedding photo but we have a fabulous photo of us from Disney World that sort of screams "Enlarge Me, Put Me On Canvas, and Call Me ART!"
   
   
   
   It's so elegant, don't you think?
   
3. I'm this week's Twitter of the Week over at Twitter Hop Thursdays (which I already blogged about) I'm very excited about this and just hope that all of my new followers on twitter don't mind my pointless updates. Do you follow me on twitter? If not, why not? GO NOW! @FromLazyToLady
   
   
4. I had a fabulous weekend with Lord Hill and he spoiled me rotten on a shopping trip. I have been thinking about a a great blog entry to discuss the details.
   
   
   
5. My niece's first dance recital is on Saturday and I just got an invite! I can't wait to see her be all adorable and take a TON of photos of her. I cannot believe how big she is getting. She'll be 4 this month! How is that even possible?!?!  (No pictures of children w/out their parents' consent, sorry folks.) Hopefully the children will be more graceful than this guy...
   
   
   
   
   What are a few things that you're excited about this week?