Sunday, August 16, 2015

FLYing Again

I disappeared again. If you know me in real life, you know I do this. It's not something I control, I never know it's happening while it's happening.
I have really been struggling through the past few years to maintain some kind of tangible sanity. The last few months specifically I fought a depressive episode with every cell of my being. There were days that I honestly didn't think I would make it.
Thankfully I have a support system in place and when I hit rock bottom I was given the support to do what needed to be done to get myself back.
I quit my full time job. It had to be done. When you start to casually think that getting hit by a bus as you cross the street wouldn't be so bad because at least you wouldn't  have to go to work, it's a pretty good sign that the job you're going to might not be the best job for you.
All of the pixie dust in the world couldn't change just how NOT okay I was.
My husband fully supports my desire to focus solely on my travel business full time. This will give me the ability to work from home, or from wherever I happen to be. It allows me quality time with my husband and the rest of my family and that connection is something I desperately need right now.
My anxiety has gone from severe to mild almost immediately. I was getting sick every day, taking xanax 3 times a day just to get out of and stay out of bed. All I did was sleep and work and in between I was miserable.
I have taken xanax twice since July 25th. One was when my brother called and said my dad had a heart attack and the other was after witnessing a teenage girl get mugged right outside my apartment window. Talk about a change of life!!
It's time to take back my life. I am diving head first into the Fly Lady program again. So far, so good.
My sink is shiny and bright , and so is my future.


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