I have been in an awful mood all day. All week really, and while I thought it was b/c it was the first Christmas since my mom passed away, I realized that wasn't really it. It's b/c the 29th marks 6 months since my mom died.
"my mom died" is still such a weird thing to say. doesn't feel real. yet, after 6 months it is slowly becoming the "new normal" that everyone told me to expect.
"Nothing will ever be the same, nothing will ever be normal ever again. You'll find a new normal."
I hated those people. Yet... 6 months later and here it is.
Normal or "new normal" doesn't mean what I thought they meant. I am not happy, I am not okay, I am sure as hell not over it.
Let me tell you a little bit about my new normal.
Crying. It has become perfectly normal to cry every single day for 6 months straight.
I have come to realize that what I thought was anxiety and panic attacks was really just the tip of the iceberg. Anxiety levels of about a 6 have become my "new normal"
It's now normal to feel like no one on the entire planet can possibly understand what has happened.
Fear of phone calls and the inability to reach someone by phone for fear that it means something horrible has happened is totally normal. ( I think I finally understand why my mother in law always answers the phone with "what happened??")
Accepting that i'm totally helpless and cannot protect or save anyone or anything I love, normal.
People looking at me with *that* look, the "that poor girl" look has become normal.
People appologizing for saying the words "mom, mother, mommy" is also part of my new normal.
This list could go on forever, and I'm not trying to worry anyone or get sympathy from anyone. I'm sure that eventually there will be another "new normal" for me. But people were right, eventually a new routine starts to develop and that's okay. It doesn't mean you don't love the person or miss them with all your heart, it means you have gotten some of their strength to help you through. You do what you have to do to survive. Grief comes in waves, some are bigger and stronger than others, but when you hit the crest of the biggest and scariest wave, you can see the miles of calm ocean behind it and know that you'll make it through.
For all of you who have lost someone close to you, I am so desperately sorry for your loss. I'd love it if you'd be willing to share a few words about them, or about your grief process in the comments or if you'd prefer, by email. No normal, new or otherwise, is doable without support.
As my loyal readers can tell you, my baby girl Jasmine has had a bit of an identity crisis since she was a puppy. People have always compared her to a deer, and well, sometimes she gets confused. Last year we sent out a Christmas card with her next to her favorite thing in the apartment. A stuffed deer that she would lay next to, cuddle with, and drag around the apartment. (being an antique collectible deer we put a stop to the dragging right away.) I added antlers to her in this photo but even without them, the likeness is undeniable.
This year, Jasmine is a little bit older, and I thought maybe just maybe this would be the right time to introduce her to some of her "family" members. She was very excited and super well behaved and while I didn't get any amazing photos, I did capture a couple of cute moments.
The past 6 months have been... trying, to say the least. So much has changed and a lot of the time it has felt like things were spinning completely out of control. When I start to feel like I've lost control of my life I have a long standing habit of changing the one thing I have complete control of. My hair. Usually I just dye it, or cut it, but under the circumstances neither of those seemed like enough. SO, I chopped it all off and dyed it red.
What do you think?
Oh, and I've also started getting my nails done again. I always feel much more lady like when my nails are done.
What do you do when the world seems to be getting a little too chaotic?
This recipe is super easy and SUPER DUPER yummy. A coworker brought these in a few weeks ago and I immediately scooped up her recipe so THANK YOU Gina for helping me discover my new favorite dessert.
INGREDIENTS
1 box (19.5 oz) fudge brownie mix
1/2 cup vegetable oil
1/4 cup water
2 eggs
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup milk
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup coarsely chopped pecans
1/2 teaspoon vanilla
1 roll (16.5 oz) refrigerated chocolate chip cookies
DIRECTIONS
1. Heat oven to 350°F (325°F for dark pan). Spray 13x9-inch pan with cooking spray. Make brownie mix as directed on box using oil, water and eggs. Spread batter evenly in pan. Bake 25 minutes.
2. Meanwhile, in 2-quart saucepan, heat butter, milk, granulated sugar, brown sugar, pecans and vanilla to boiling over medium heat, stirring constantly. Reduce heat to medium-low; simmer 3 minutes, stirring occasionally. Remove from heat; set aside until brownies are baked.
3. Immediately pour praline mixture evenly over partially baked brownies. Cut cookie dough crosswise into 4 equal pieces; cut each piece into 4 slices. Carefully place slices in 3 rows of 5 slices each, using last slice to fill in spaces. (Spaces between cookie dough pieces will spread during baking to cover top.)
4. Bake 23 to 28 minutes longer or until cookie topping is deep golden brown. If serving as bars, cool 2 hours; cut into 6 rows by 4 rows. If serving with ice cream as dessert, cool 20 to 30 minutes; cut into 4 rows by 3 rows.
by looking at the top three highest priority items on their Amazon wish list.
These are mine.
Show me yours!
Thursday, November 3, 2011
I made a very big decision a few weeks ago. I decided to follow a star and take a chance on a dream. Maybe wishes can come true like my pal Jiminy Cricket says...
For years, I have been the "Disney go to gal" for friends and family (and even their friends) who were planning a trip to Walt Disney World, or who had questions about the parks and resorts in general. My family loving refers to me as the "Disney freak in the family" and I'm a self proclaimed "Disney Junkie".
I had started my Lady In Wonderland blog as a way to make productive use of my love and knowledge of all things Disney. It has been so much fun sharing my finds, deals, and photos with everyone. I love sharing our stories and experiences at the parks and hotels. Yet, it just didn't seem to fill the space I was looking for. I don't know how to explain it, but something just felt "off" or like it was missing.
Since my mom passed away I have been thinking a LOT about things I could have done, should have done, how life is so short, and that I'm wasting my potential and about how I wish I could have done something by now that she could have been proud of job wise.
Then, in a dream it hit me. I spoke to my husband as soon as I woke up, talked to some friends, and within days I had found my calling.
I am so excited, and proud to announce that I am officially an approved Disney Vacation Planner.
I'm an independent travel consultant for MickeyVacations.com. I finished the Disney training last week and ordered my marketing materials today.
I figured the best place to share this kind of news would be with fellow Disney lovers because you'll understand just how much it means to be "official".
If you have any questions about Disney World, Disneyland, the Disney Cruise Line, or Adventures by Disney, PLEASE do not hesitate to ask. If you'd like to book a vacation, I'd be happy to help, but if you just have questions, that is fine too. I will be sharing the special offers I receive over on my Lady In Wonderland blog as well as on my website and Facebook page. I would really appreciate it if you liked the Facebook page and told your friends and family to do the same.
Thank you for all of your support! I look forward to taking this next step on my journey and I'm glad you can all come along for the ride.
I am normally the person who laughs at Facebook drama and tells people to get over it b/c it's just not that serious. It's true, it's not. But sometimes, even though it's only on Facebook, the drama can hurt.
I think it's b/c Facebook uses the word "Friends" to describe the people on your list even though for most people, most of the members of their friends list are really nothing more than acquaintances or work friends.
I have been very picky about who I add to my friends list b/c of this. I won't add people just b/c they play the same game as me, and I don't add people I went to high school with just b/c they decided to be nice to me for the 20 seconds it took to write a hello and click "add friend".
SO, it really hurts me and offends me that someone I consider a friend felt the need to report one (or more) of my photos to the powers that be at Facebook. Apparently, my photo offended them to the point where they accused me of violating Facebook's Terms of Service.
While investigating the matter my account is not allowed to upload photos, or tag photos. If the photo is found to be in violation, they will delete it without notice. If I am in "extreme violation of the terms of service" they "reserve the right to terminate" my account on "a permanent basis."
I'm not really worried that the photo will be deleted, b/c I read and reread the terms and I do not believe it violates any of them. I am however upset that instead of just ignoring the tiny little thumbnail that has been my profile picture for weeks, someone I care about, had to go and "narc" on me. I am 99.9% sure that I know who it was and it's just so ridiculous that I roll my eyes just thinking about them.
The worst part is, I would like to remove them from my list b/c they do not fit my definition of the word friend, but if it's who I think it is, deleting them would just cause more actual drama and it's not worth it.
This is the photo. Warning: Some people may be offended. There is FAKE blood. A lot of FAKE blood. It's jello and cranberries and was very very yummy. The photo was taken right after my bffl and I filmed scenes for the documentary Zombies: A Living History which airs on The History Channel Tuesday October 25th at 8:00PM.
Would you have reported this photo? Do you think I'm over reacting? I'd love some feedback on this.
Well, let's make that back on track instead of fallen.
I have not only neglected my blog and my readers the past few months, I have neglected all of the good habits I formed and have given into the Lazyness once again.
Being depressed and exhausted can no longer control my life.
I want my apartment back!!
Starting Saturday, I am going to get back on track with my blog, my chores, and my healthy routines.
I hope my readers and friends will continue to be there to support me.
First goal: Have a shiny sink by bedtime Saturday.
As a reminder, I have a giveaway going on at my other blog. It was just posted today. I am very excited about it and would love it if you entered.
You can find the full details HERE.
The giveaway is for digital scrapbooking software. It is super simple to use and within the first 5 minutes of using the program I had already created this page in honor of my mother...
I will be reviewing the software this week and giving away a promo code that will allow you download the software for FREE. It is valued at $39.95.
I hope that you'll all come follow the blog in order to stay updated and for your chance to win. The contest will only be available for followers of Lady In Wonderland.
Even if you're not interested in the giveaway, I'd love if you followed that blog. It's a Disney and Alice in Wonderland themed blog with great travel tips and shopping deals. Plus lots of photos of Disney World!
The scrapbook software is a great way to make personalized photo albums and calendars with all of your own photographs of your children, pets, and more! You can save $10 now by using the promo code below created specifically for my blog readers.
If you already use the software, or end up downloading it, please share some of your creations with me and my readers!
My nephew Brady's birthday party today. It was fabulous and I ate way too much delicious food. My sister in law makes the most amazing home made mac & cheese. I promise to get the recipe to share it with you at a later date. I got to spend time with adorable kids and get lots of sticky hugs and kisses. I got to wish my oldest niece a happy 17th birthday (which was bittersweet all on it's own, where did my little girl who hid under the table eating cookies go and who is this young woman who took her place!?!?).
I had fun, but my heart could not ignore the fact that someone was missing.
To make it even harder, today is the anniversary of the day that Tango went into the emergency clinic. Tonight around 3am will be the anniversary of his death. My heart is breaking all over again just thinking about him. If you are new to this blog, Tango was the best little dog in the world. He WAS my world. You can read about his passing and the impact it had on me here. You can see 5 awesome photos of him here.
I made the decision to see a grief counselor to help me learn how to cope with my mom's death. She told me that grief is like waves, some waves are bigger than others, but that doesn't mean we have to drown. She also reminded me that waves come in, but then they go out. Sometimes they are big, and sometimes they are small. I realized that waves even if they are tiny, always hit the shore, so the grief will never go away, but at some point it will be managable. Well, today was like a tsunami. I wasn't quite sure I was going to get through it, but like everything else in life, it too shall pass. I just hope the "sea" is calmer tomorrow, because treading water is getting exhausting.
God saw you getting tired, and a cure was not to be. So He put His arms around you and whispered "Come to ME". With tearful eyes we watched you, and saw you pass away. Although we love you dearly, we could not make you stay. A golden heart stopped beating, hard working hands at rest. God broke our hearts to prove to us, He only takes the best.
It breaks my heart to tell you all, but my mother passed away early Wednesday morning. Her long, hard, painful battle with cancer is over and she is now at peace.
My mom was the bravest, strongest, person I have ever known. I doubt I will ever meet another who's courage could match hers.
She was my very best friend. My mommy. I find comfort in the knowledge that if I am in this kind of pain, it means she no longer is.
Go hug your children and your mothers.
This photo was taken on her birthday this past March in Downtown Disney. I think it's the last photo ever taken of us together. I'm so glad we did that trip.
In light of recent events, it has been hard for me to find time to write. My mother isn't doing as well as I'd like, and in fact she is spending the night in ICU. I wanted to write a post for my dad for father's day but I keep getting too choked up to get anything good out. So instead, I'm going to direct you to my father's day post from 2009.
My dad is my hero, my rock, my first love. No man will ever be able to fill his shoes, but my husband has all of my dad's best qualities. It saddens me that my father is spending the night alone, while the love of his life lays in a hospital bed, and there is nothing I can do to make things right. All I can do is tell you how amazing he is and send a prayer up to heaven to hopefully help him get the sleep that I cannot seem to find.
AC Moore has some great deals this weekend and I wanted to share. First...
Look what I bought!
The Ultimate Decorating Set contains the following:
9" 11" Straight Black Handle Spatulas
9" 13" Angled Black Handle Spatulas
10" Featherweight Bags - 2 Pk
12" Disposable Bags - 50 Pk
Practice Board with Patterns
4 - Standard Couplers
6 Pc Forming Cups
Large Lily Nail - 2 Pack
15" Parchment Triangles
Round Tips: #1, #3, #5, #12
Star Tips: #14, #16, #18, #21, #1M
Petal Tips: #59s, #101, #104
Leaf Tips: #352 and #366
Bismarck Tip #230
Drop Flower Tip #2D
Multi Opening Tip #233
Thin and Thick Foams
Flower Nail Templates
Brush Set
Gold Foil
Cut & Press Button Flower
Pansy Cutter
Wave Flower Former 2 Pk
2 Pc Mum Cutter Set
Calla Lily Cutter
Calla Lily Former
Scallop Ruffle Cutter
Lily Stamen Set
Tip Dishwasher Pouch
Dusting Pouch
Green Ball Tool
Green Veining Tool
Fondant Smoother
Ribbon Cutter/Embosser
12" Dowel Rods
Round Cut Out Set
Rose Cutter Set 5 pc
8" Cake Circle
Silicone Tip Covers
9" Rolling Pin
Thin and Thick Modeling Sticks
4 Pc Decorating Nail Set
The Ultimate Tool Caddy
Tilting Cake Turntable
Moves to 3 preset angles -12° 24°, and level--and locks in place, making every decorating technique easier! Turntable smoothly rotates in any of the angled positions for effortless decorating of top borders, stringwork, lettering on top and sides of cake, and more. The stand is made of durable plastic with a non-skid top surface.
The best part?? I got it all for under $125!! AC Moore had a one day only 55% off coupon good for use on any one item. I brought hubby along with me and voila! I scored two of the items I always drool over when we go there.
I will be signing up for the next Wilton cake decorating class in July and I can't wait! Flowers and Cake Design here I come!! I even ran into the class instructor and she was just as happy to see me as I was to see her. She was super helpful and nice and encouraging. When I told her I had a 55% off coupon she said "buy it, buy it now" b/c it doesn't usually sell for less than $100 even with a coupon.
They also have a coupon good for an ADDITIONAL 20% off your TOTAL purchase including sale items. Of course the stuff I want, like the Cricuit is excluded from this special. However, the Cricuit is on sale for $199 which is $200 off the normal price. If I had a little bit more money, I totally would have gotten one. The cartridges are also on sale and the Cricuit for cakes was on clearance for $199 at my local store.
What would you purchase with a 55% off coupon to AC Moore?
Between the new kittens, and working over 92 hours this pay period, I am beyond exhausted and haven't been able to find much time to blog.
As it is, I am posting this on my iPad from my bed.
I miss my blog. I miss my followers. I miss reading the blogs I follow. I miss doing product and book reviews. I miss having the time to do any of this.
Starting a second blog was probably a little silly given the circumstances. I just didn't want to bombard people who don't like Disney with a lot of stuff they didn't care about.
I also didn't want to stray away from the general vibe of this blog.
I have been trying to keep up with Facebook and twitter. I am tweeting as @fromlazytolady as well as @ladynwonderland . Please be sure to follow both because my phone has me posting on one while my iPad has be posting on the other.
Facebook is http://Facebook.com/fromlazytolady and http://tinyurl.com/LadyInWonderlandFB ( I don't have enough likes on the second one to customize my URL yet.
I will be doing a Disney or Alice in Wonderland themed giveaway on my new blog http://ladyinwonderland.blogspot.com once the blog, twitter, and Facebook pages all have 100 followers. Please be sure to follow for your chance to win!
Speaking of Alice in Wonderland, the kittens are getting so big! Alice and Dinah have both figured out how to climb the baby gate and I am constantly finding them in the kitchen. This would be fine, except they cannot get back over the gate to get out of the kitchen. Silly kittens. Jasmine seems to be adjusting well, especially now that it seems her first heat is over. Jasmine and Dinah are the best of friends... Or each other's arch nemesis, I haven't figured it out yet.
I chopped my hair off again! I also bought two new shampoos that I cant wait to tell you about so be sure to stay tuned for pictures and product reviews!
it has been a while since i have done a hop, but it seems that a lot of my old favorite blogs are no longer active so I needed to find some more to read. I figured, what the hell, I'm already at the hop, I might a well link up!
I'm sure that some of you are anxiously awaiting to see just what I was so excited about in this post from Friday.
I would like to introduce you all to the two newest members of our family!
Alice and Dinah are 6 weeks old and I am smitten with my new kittens. I bet you will be too. Alice is the orange/tortoise short hair(the one in the back) and Dinah is the gray long hair (the one in the front).
This is the day we decided to let the little love smooshies join our family. Can you tell that I am quite happy with this decision?
Princess Jasmine met her new sisters and is quite happy. Although, she is a bit too excited and doesn't realize how much bigger she is than them. We are trying to teach her that kittens, are not toys, no matter how small and squeaky they are. This lesson is proving to be difficult considering the fact that Alice's favorite spot to sleep is Jasmine's toy box.
Well, that's all for now. We're all a bit exhausted from our long weekend of getting adjusted. Sleep tight my pets!
Do you have any pets? If you'd like to show them off, email photos of your furbabies to me at fromlazytolady(at)gmail(dot)com and they will appear in future blog posts!
Come on ladies, you know what it is. The men out there (do men read my blog?) probably do too but just in case you don't know, let me explain.
Retail Therapy is a type of self medication. When life gets tough, some people turn to liquor, drugs, or nicotine. Others turn to shopping. Now, I am not a compulsive shopper. In fact, I hardly ever spend money on myself other than taking vacation once or twice a year and spending money on things for that. I don't wear designer clothes, I only get my hair cut 2 or 3 times a year, and I just started doing my nails on a regular basis. I am a Walmart/Payless type of girl. BUT there is something about a nice new bag that just gets my heart racing.
I'm not the type to get a bag simply b/c who the designer is. I won't spend $500 on a bag even if I love it. Up until today, all of my designer bags have been a gift. 2 Coach bags and a wristlet from hubby last year. A Dooney & Bourke Disney bag bought on clearance at Disney World with a gift card from my boss last September. My newest most prized bag, a Disney White Sketch Dooney & Bourke bag from Walt Disney World that my hubby bought me for our 3rd wedding anniversary.
These bags just spoke to me and I had to have them. I got myself a matching set, because I have been drooling over this pattern since my trip to Disney in March. I almost tackled the Fed Ex guy when he rang my bell!
I have used the large bag every day since they arrived. I use it for work and for pleasure since it perfectly fits my iPad, padfolio, phone, charger, and keys/wallet and the wristlet too. I LOVE it!!
The best part? I got all three pieces for the original cost of the wristlet and wallet combined. The large tote bag was essentially free. My shopping high was in full gear that day!
Do you wear designer labels or carry designer bags? What bag is your favorite?
Someone recently asked me what I am most proud of about myself. At the time I couldn't think of anything. I was having one of those days where I was really getting down on myself. I was thinking of all the things I haven't done rather than all the things I have done.
One of the things I am most proud of is the way I don't let challenges in my life stop me. I have a few medical conditions including a chronic pain disorder and severe anxiety. Yet, I don't let it stop me from doing what I need to do and normally it doesn't stop me from what I want to do either. I realized that this was something I was proud of while reading this blog post over at
http://empoweringsuccessonline.com.
I have my bad days, for sure. I have had to miss work here and there, and I missed a lot of school back in the day. But, I have never given up on myself. I don't use my pain as an excuse not to do things. I have made big steps in regards to conquering my anxiety.
That is what I am most proud of. Overcoming challenges that have come my way, not just the pain or anxiety, but those are some good examples.
Do challenges stop you? What are you most proud of?
I'm very excited to announce the launch of a new project of mine.
Lady In Wonderland is my new Disney themed blog. I will be posting updates, travel tips, recipes, reviews, pictures, and more.
I really hope you will stop by and join me on my adventure. I am also looking for guest bloggers for that blog.
Topics should be limited to a Disney theme but can include things like recipes, crafts, decorating tips, games, movie reviews, product reviews, travel tips, photo posts and more. Please contact me at fromlazytolady(at)gmail(dot)com, or on Twitter at @ladyNwonderland to discuss!
AMF has a FREE bowling program for kids this summer. From May 30th-September 5th children who are registered for the program can bowl 2 FREE games EVERY DAY.
It's a great way to spend some time with the kids without spending money.
They also have a pass for $27.95 that is good for 2 games per day for up to 4 adults when you go with a child registered for the free bowling.
my poor mom, can't catch a friggin break. She is back in the hospital after having a very bad scare a few weeks ago. For those of you who are new to the blog, my mom is battling stage IV melanoma. She is participating in a drug trial that has had some amazing results. I couldn't be happier about how well that treatment is working.
Unfortunately, it is a chemo treatment and has weakened her immune system. She is in the hospital with shingles and will probably be there about a week if everything goes well. Hopefully she will be home in time for Easter dinner and if we're lucky maybe she will be home for Good Friday for our traditional shrimp dinner with the whole family.
Here is a picture of me, my mom, and my dad taken a couple of weeks ago when we were on vacation in Florida. This was taken on the Characters In Flight balloon ride at Downtown Disney.
I know that I have been MIA lately. I apologize and beg your forgiveness. I appreciate those of you who have stayed around.
Today, as a token of my appreciation, I present to you a delicious, low calorie snack/lunch/side dish that is perfect for spring and summer especially once BBQ season hits.
Now, I know that most people probably know how to make cole slaw. I realize that this isn't a ground breaking recipe. BUT I didn't know how to make it, had never made it before, and wasn't sure how it would turn out. Being on a diet that allows me to have three 100 calorie snacks a day is great. Except I get so sick of eating those pre packaged snacks, and some fruit is actually way over 100 calories per serving. This recipe has allowed me to bring a filling snack to work, and also given me more side dish choices for lunch and dinner.
Ingredients:(makes one serving)
1 1/2 cups of pre packaged cole slaw mix. (I use the kind with green and red cabbage and carrots)
1 table spoon lite mayo
1 table spoon white vinegar (red works too but i only had white on hand)
course black pepper
salt
Instructions:
Place cole slaw mix, mayo, and vinegar in a bowl.
Mix
Add salt and pepper to taste.
Refrigerate. Serve chilled.
Easy right?! The best part? One serving is only 55 calories!
So, I have been going to the gym every week.
I have been dieting, and not cheating on said diet.
I have lost 5lbs in two weeks.
I have gone done several pant sizes since I started this journey.
Today, I bought a size that I haven't even tried on in YEARS.
I took the step to actually get out on the road today. Nothing major, but it felt GOOD to be driving. I can't wait till I have my license and can head out on the highway lookin for adventure.
First, let me appologize for taking so long to post the second half of my story. There are many reasons that I won't go into detail about, but trust that I did not forget about you lovely followers and there were valid situations keeping me away from my poor neglected blog.
For those of you just tuning in, please read PART I first, otherwise, this part just isn't nearly as interesting.
Now, on to the side story....
(As a reminder, when we last left Lady Hill she was anxiously awaiting to find out if she passed the NYS Learner's Permit exam.)
Okay, so, I forgot to mention in Part I of the story that somewhere along the line my mom sat next to a very pregnant foreign girl and began to chat with her. Those of you who have been reading long enough, or who know me in real life, know that pregnancy is a topic I try to avoid at all costs. I went so far as putting my coat and bag between myself and the pregnant woman that we will call Ruth (that might be her real name, I never did catch it but I'm pretty sure that's what they called her at the desk) because I have an irrational fear that pregnancy is somehow contagious through osmosis. SO, imagine my ... hmmm... not surprise, not disapointment, just imagine how uncomfortable I was to realize that Ruth and I were only one number apart, and would end up spending the entire day at the DMV together.
When we were called in to take the test, the only two open seats were next to eachother. When we were done with the tests, the only room to wait was a tiny space that required us to be touching while we stood there. (Another important thing to remember is that I HATE being touched, especially by strangers.) After standing for a few minutes we started chatting, and it turns out she is a really nice woman, just moved here, grew up all over Europe and when she realizes I know German, she began speaking so fast in a dialect I couldnt understand that we wound up getting scolded for laughing so loud. She became my "DMV Buddy"
Ruth it turns out, is 8 months pregnant. No one was willing to give up a seat for her on the benches, because well, this is New York after all, so I told her I'd sit on the floor if she did. Now, picture the amount of space that had to be available, or rather the lack there of, if when standing we were touching. When we sat, she was basically on my lap.
I couldn't help but notice how uncomfortable she looked, because, well she kept making very strange faces and making little sighs here and there. Turns out, that Ruth had been having contractions for the past two hours and they were getting stronger by the minute. She assured me that she wasn't planning on having the baby at the DMV and I said "Well, I should hope not! And, if you do need to have the baby here, please, don't do it on my lap." I said it with a laugh in my voice so she didn't think I was a huge bitch, but at this point I am DESPERATE to escape the DMV. I'm almost hoping I failed the test because if I did, then at least I could just leave. I wouldn't have to spend even more time hanging out with my new buddy and risk her having her baby on my lap.
THEN! Oh my... then the baby starts trying to escape, but not through the "escape hatch" oh no, the baby seems to be trying to rip it's way through Ruth's tummy. He too, it appears has had enough of the DMV and just can't seem to take it anymore. It was like a scene from an alien movie, even Ruth started laughing and pointing at her belly and saying "aw, look at my little alien baby, he's trying to escape" This is not Ruth's belly, but this is exactly what it looked like except it wasn't a foot it was a hand...
I didn't realize those types of photos were real. I have never touched a pregnant woman's belly to feel a baby kick, I had no idea, this was possible. I was FREAKED out. Then, the baby starts rolling and it looks like the Loch Ness Monster is in there... crazy stuff... The whole time she's talking about contractions. Now, I don't know if you can have contractions while the baby is moving around like that, or what not. I don't claim to be knowledgable on these things, I'm just reporting what she said was going on and what I saw. So, it gets to the point where I actually said... "Okay, listen up little baby. You cannot be born at the DMV, especially not on MY lap. Because, if your mommy does give birth to you on my lap, she will have to be my very own personal driver for the rest of my life and yours, because I will NEVER step foot in a DMV again, and I will never get my license." Again, I said it with a laugh in my voice but also sternly enough so that the alien baby knew I meant business. Ruth laughed, and said that we had a deal, if she had the baby while anywhere near me, she would drive me around forever.
Just then they called out both of our names to get our test results....
We both passed!!
Luckily, there were no seats near eachother back in the main part of the DMV so we didn't have to sit near eachother and that is where my story with Ruth and the alien baby ends. I spent another 75 minutes waiting for them to call my number to pay at the cashier, but FINALLY after over 6 hours at the NYSDMV I now have a class D id and can drive! (As long as there is a licensed driver over the age of 21 in the car with me lol)
I am VERY excited and very proud of myself. I fought several fears of mine to complete this task and hopefully, I will have a driver's license before this permit expires b/c I really don't think I can risk going through all of that all over again!!
Those of you who follow me on facebook already know that I had quite an adventure at the dmv yesterday. That's Department of Motor Vehicles for those of you who may not know.
A little background: I am 28 and do not have a driver's license. I got my permit at 16, and by the time I was able to take my road test at 18, I was too comfortable behind the wheel and failed twice. The blizzard and tropic storm that I took my road test in, definitely played a part in that as well. My New York accent played a part in me failing my MA road test... let's just say after 3 failed attempts, and then 2 major car accidents, I decided I no longer wanted to drive. (Note, the accidents were not my fault, I was a passenger in both accidents and still suffer from the injuries received)
Okay, so fast forward back to today. Or actually Thursday. As you know know I am on a journey of self discovery and growth. I have set several goals for myself. I realized sometime over the past few weeks that my biggest goal is to stop letting fear control my life. It just so happened that around the same time, my ID expired. Since I have a plane to catch next month, I had to remedy that situation and decided to kill two birds with one stone. I would get my new ID and slap fear in the face at the same time.
Off to the DMV I went. What normally would have taken 20-60 minutes wound up taking 6 hours. Yes. 6 hours. Why? B/C Lady Hill is stupid and didn't think about the fact that school is out this week, and that there is only ONE location in the entire county where any kind of written DMV test is given. Which means, this DMV was PACKED with 400 or so 16 year olds (and one 28 year old and one pregnant Swiss lady) hoping to pass their learner's permit test. Well, Lady Hill, why didn't you just leave when you saw how crowded it was??
B/C #1 that would have been the smart thing to do, and #2 if I left, I may not go back. When it comes to facing our fears, there will always be an excuse why it's not a good time. I couldn't make any more excuses.
So I stood in line for a good 90 minutes, got my picture taken, passed my eye exam(without the need of my corrective lenses, go me! which is important, b/c i forgot them at home) and then sat and waited for my number to be called for about 90 more minutes. Finally, my number is called and go into the test room completely freaking out that I'm going to fail this stupid test and the past 4ish hours will have been for nothing. I got the test, took about 60 seconds to complete it and then waited for 90 minutes for them to call my name and tell me whether or not I passed. This is where my side adventure comes into play... are you excited and on the edge of your seat? Good. Because I have to go watch American Idol which I had to DVR since I was at the DMV FOR EVER.
Stay tuned for part II of Lady Hill's Adventures at the DMV starring Lady Hill and "The Pregnant Swiss Lady"....
I watched several episodes tonight when I got home from work. I was so appalled by just how LAZY I really am less than halfway into the first episode.
I sit around and bitch about how fat I am, I talk about eating well, I try to go to the gym (I have gone once a week, every week for a month, I'm actually proud of that since it's more than I've gone in the past four months combined) but these kids, they work out 2 hours a day, every single day.
They suck it up and eat the salad and avoid the french fries.
Sure, I've lost a lot of weight since I started my weight loss journey. 30+ pounds in fact. BUT these people are losing 30 pounds in 3 months... it's taken me over three years. In fact, I have been within the same 10lb zone since I got married almost 3 years ago.
This is unacceptable. I am making a comitment to myself, to get healthy. Heart disease, and diabetes runs in my family. I already have high cholesterol and have since I was 25... what am I waiting for?
Support.
The other day at the gym, Lord Hill saw me struggling and giving up on a machine. He came over, and talked me through and counted out the last few reps with me. Honestly, if he wasn't there doing that, I would have given up. Support is essential when it comes to such a large lifestyle change.
That is why, I am asking you, my readers, my friends, my family, to help me with this. I need your support.
That is the difference between why the people on tv are succeeding and why I am failing. They have people holding them accountable for their actions. They have to step on a scale every few days in front of the world, and if they fail, the whole world knows it. If they don't reach their goals, the whole world knows it, but at the same time, if they need a little help, or a little push, they get it from knowing the whole world is watching.
I would love to hear about your struggles and your triumphs with your own weight loss, tips about dieting, recipes, work out routines. Any support you can offer. I'd also love to do the same for you. If you need support, let me know how I can help.
So, in the spirit of new beginnings, I need to lose 20lbs. I'd like to lose 10lbs by March 23rd. Wish me luck!
Let me just say that this review is either going to be too short or too long. I don't want to say too much and end up ruining anything for those of you who haven't read this series yet. I am also so obsessed with this series that I could just sit here and write about it forever and a day.
Something about this story just spoke to me. I am well aware of how lame that sounds, and I don't even care. It was AMAZING. My bffl Sara was talking about it for weeks and I'm the type of person who normally boycotts things when it looks like the masses are enjoying it. I suck like that, so I rolled my eyes as I promised to read it if she dropped it off for me. (Sorry Sara, I know you couldn't see the eyeroll, but it was there and I now feel super guilty and stupid for it)
I got the first book, The Hunger Games, on a Thursday night and started it sometime Friday. By Saturday afternoon I was done and when I got to the last page and saw the words "End of book 1" I immediately texted Sara with, "WTF?! How could you not leave me book two???" or something along those lines. I debated whether I should go pick up book 2, or wait to find someone to borrow it from, when all of a sudden, light shown down from the heavens and focused on my iPad. OF COURSE!! It's 2011 and even though I am ANTI the e-reader movement b/c real books are my favorite thing ever, I immediately checked my Kindle app and purchased the digital version.
But, I had a problem. I had to pace myself. One of the girls from work who has now made it on to my "favorite people ever" list had offered to lend me book three, but it was only Saturday and I wouldn't see her till Monday. I made book two last with only 10 pages left by the time I got to work on Monday. Then, I realized that we were closing early and the stock girls were not on the schedule which meant, NO... it couldn't be... I wouldn't be getting the book till the following week?!?!?! Thankfully my new favorite person never checked the schedule and came in anyway, with book in hand, and saved the day.
Knowing that there were only three books in the series, I decided to take it even slower with the last book. I made it last till Wednesday night. When I was done with the very last word, on the very last page, of the very last book, there were tears in my eyes. NOT b/c of the writing or the ending of the story, but because the story was over. These characters I had learned to love, and trust, (and distrust) and bonded with...were all of a sudden gone. I will never know any more information about Katniss, or Peeta, or Haymitch. This breaks my heart. I feel as though I'm mourning the loss of a friend.
So, go, right now, and get a copy of these books. I've provided a link to the box set, but you can also buy them one at a time with free super saver shipping on Amazon, or download them to your e-reader... borrow them from a friend, or from the library... I don't care what you do as long as you READ these books.
Oh, I guess I should tell you a bit about what happens otherwise this isn't a very good review is it?
Life, death, rebellion, love, trust, enemies, government, growing up, a black cat, siblings, friendship, war, despair, and above all else, hope.
I am so proud of my husband. He has been fighting me so hard about going to the gym that we missed an entire month of our membership. Yesterday, he finally agrees to go and does amazing and by the time I'm dying and ready to go home, he wants to stay!
I'm so proud and honored that he got over his issues with the gym and went with me. It was nice to have him there, and to be doing something productive together, but it was also nice to see him working out b/c of how good it is for his health. Not to mention, it gave me something nice to look at while I was busting my butt. Honestly, my gym does not have the hottest members, but it's the "judgment free zone" so I'll be nice.
It gives me hope that he will keep going with me, b/c I worry about him all the time. I'm so afraid of losing him, that I need him to work out, to be healthy. I don't want some big buff dude, that's not my style, but a healthy active dude, well that'll be just fine.
What have you done to burn some extra calories this week?
I have found that having a bedtime routine really helps me get into the sleep mode as well as helps calm my nerves in preperation for the following day.
This is my before bed routine:
Wash face.
Brush teeth.
Whiten teeth.
Brush hair.
Moisturize face.
Take allergy medicine.
Pick out clothes for the following day. (If I'm feeling ambitious I even lay them out.)
Charge iPad
Set alarm and charge cell phone.
Check the sink for dirty dishes, if there are any, do them. (I've been slacking on this one)
Shine the sink.(again, i've been slacking)
Check the locks, the windows, and lights.
Say goodnight to all the animals, tell Jazzy and Petey its time for bed.
Go lay down.
Check email one last time as well as my to do list for the following day.
Say my prayers.
SLEEP.
Now, all of these things don't have to be done in that order, even though it is the order I tend to do them in, and they don't all have to be done right before bed. I start some of these things right when I get home from work, but before I go to bed they all have to be done. It has really helped make my nights and mornings a lot less stressfull.
What do you do that helps you eliminate daily stress and/or anxiety?
Holding the title of Lady comes with the responsibility of actually looking and behaving like one. This wasn't something I was really prepared for when hubby and I gained our titles but it's something I have been trying to embrace.
Working from home for a few years really slowed down this progress since my only "subjects" were my family, best friends, and my fur babies. (None of whom really cared if I hung out in yoga pants and a hoodie all day with my hair a sloppy "bun")
Now that I have a new job things have really changed. Someone said something last week that really hit a nerve but instead of getting upset, I decided to use it as a jump start for what I'm going to call the "Lady Hill Project"
I used to take chances with with my style, but somewhere along the line I got timid. Well, as you can tell by yesterday's post, I've decided to put an end to that.
I wore an outfit that I never thought I could pull off, got a haircut that puts me on my way to my dream cut, and wore makeup colors that I was too afraid to try a week ago.
Guess what?
It felt GOOD to get out of my comfort zone. Going to work today was like bungie jumping. I needed to take that leap. I was nervous, thinking that there was no way I could pull this off, thinking I'd get laughed out of the boutique... and yet, that didn't happen, quite the opposite actually. Even if it did happen, I think I might have been okay, b/c I felt good. I liked the me I kept seeing in the mirror when I passed by... It was awesome.
So, I need to keep the momentum going. I plan on getting my eyebrows done so I look a little less like a grumpy old man, and I also want to go and get my nails done. The nails are something I have always loved doing but always felt guilty about spending money on. The last time I had them done professionally was for my wedding! I also need to dye my hair. I spent about a year growing it out to get it to my natural color, and now that it is 100% my natural color I can say "well, at least I tried" because it is SO not what I remember it being. The last time it was all my natural color was when I was 15 so I guess it was a little silly to assume I'd still be a fabulous blond after all those years... Now I just need to decide what color to go with. Highlights so I can be a "real" blond, or do I go red? Maybe I'll let you vote to decide! I'm also going to go on a small shopping spree to get some new clothes.
I deserve to feel pretty, I need to remember that.
What is something you do that helps you feel pretty/pampered/feminine?
Well, I really hope to accomplish it. Maybe not a "new" me, just a "better" me. lol That doesn't sound much better.
I started this blog as a place to show my journey from being lazy me, to being lady me. I don't think I've changed nearly as much as I would have liked, but I am proud of the changes I did make.
I am going to challenge myself to step out of my comfort zone more this year... Whether it be with challenging myself at work, with my writing, with hobbies or my appearance... so without further ado... I present the new Lady Hill...
It's so easy to sit around and feel sorry for yourself. To sit and say "oh my, I'm so tired, work is kicking my butt, I have no time for my friends, I have no time to cook, I have no time to go see my mom. Wah, whoa is me"
I would like to take a minute and say that I am truly blessed.
2010 was a really hard year for me. My mom's cancer, losing my job, losing Tango, family drama, dealing with fibromyalgia... you name it, it sucked.
I really let it get to me. I got to the point where I just couldn't take any more, had a major panic attack and almost ended up back in the hospital because of it.
2011 is going to be different. My mom still has cancer, I still miss Tango, and I'm still bitter about what happened at my last job. The difference will be with me, and how I respond and react to my life. 2011 is going to be about positive attitudes.
Thank God, I have a job.
Thank God, I have friends. Great friends. This might be the first time in my life when I can actually say that and mean it.
Thank God, I have food in my fridge and do not need to go hungry.
Thank God, my mom is still here. I am so grateful for every minute that God gives me with her.
Thank God, I have family that loves me. Drama or not, I never have to question whether I am loved.
Thank God for my daddy. He is my rock.
Thank God for giving me the years I had with Tango. For letting me help him know what it felt like to be loved. For giving me a little ball of unconditional love in return. For teaching me patience. For bringing me to a point in my life where I would get Jasmine.
Thank God for Jasmine. Without her, I may never have gotten out of my funk last year. She has given me a reason to get out of bed every morning.
Thank God for Petey and Bella and McDuff. My children. Fur, or feathers, paws, or claws, my loves.
Thank God, for Disney World. For at least 8 days a year I get to just be. I get to live in my fantasy land, and be the Princess I know I am, see the world, and be a kid again.
Thank God for my amazing husband, who can always make me laugh, and makes me feel like a princess every single day.
What are you thankful for? Do you think your attitude can impact your future?
As you may or may not know, wedding planning is a passion of mine and I have been lucky enough to get a job involved in the wedding industry. One of the best parts of the job is that it combines my love of weddings with my love of blogging.
Check out my latest blog post featuring wedding styles by David Tutera, St. Pucchi, Marina K., Stephen Yearick, Ysa Makino, and Erin Cole.
I have run into a snag while trying to put up my new banner.
Since I'm no longer 27 I thought a change was in order.
Unfortunately, even though all I did was edit the old banner, the new one looks awful.
Please forgive the appearance of this blog for a little bit, while I try to figure all of this out.
I am not a Jets fan. I like football, but I don't really have a favorite team. I root for New York as a general rule.
Tonight however, may have changed things. I don't care so much about the Jets winning, I car about the fact that they made the Patriots loose.
I won't get into specifics, but due to certain past circumstances, I LOATHE the Patriots. So, keeping them out of the Super Bowl makes the Jets my friends.
I promise to send something handmade to the first 5 people who leave a comment here. They must, in turn, post this and send something they make to the first 5 people who comment on their post. *The rules are that it must be handmade by you and it must be sent to your 5 people sometime in 2011*
This has been floating around facebook and I think it's a really cute and fun idea and I would love to participate but I wanted to expand on it a little bit since I make things for my facebook friends all the time.
This is open to all of my readers. Regardless of where you are located.
I won't be taking requests but so that you have an idea of things you may receive: I make jewelry, keychains, hand embroidered gifts, photography gifts, drawings, and stuffed animals.
In your comment be sure to include the following:
- A link to your post with the same offer.
- Your email address so that I have a way of contacting you.
- Your favorite color.
